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Nap Time!!!

Thursday, July 31, 2003

Signs on Sproul


This is our bear territory.
Hate crimes will not be tolerated.

Silvery signs on Sproul declared this quite hillarious set of statements.

Courtesy ("And we will continue to disrupt the educational mission...")
Civility ("LIES!!" "Fuck Free Speech!")
Community ("Conservative thinkers are encouraged to seek other sections.")

This is our bear territory ("Hey, look, two cents from alumni!")
Hate crimes will not be tolerated ("Still under investigation")

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/31/2003 02:42:00 PM #
Comments (0)
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While you're here

Since most visitors to this site are looking for something about Georgy Russell, here goes: Why to or why not to vote for Georgy Russell.

People have their different reasons for choosing their political representatives, and it would be arrogant of me to assume that my reasons are good enough for everyone. So, based on your reasons, here are my opinions on Goergy Russel.

(Much info comes from her

Cuteness: If you vote based on cuteness, Russell certainly wins a spot near the top of your list. However, I have to admit that I find Arnie to be even cuter than Russell. It's a toss-up.

Experience: If you're looking for experience.... well, don't look to Russell. However, if you're looking for a lack of experience, Russell's most appealing point, then you're faced with a tough decision of Russell or one of the other nutcases running for fun.

Sense of Humor: Well, maybe Russell could win. But then, I don't know if I'd trust someone with a sense of humor in government office. She's liable to secede from the U.S. as a joke.

The Issues: No one cares about issues, but since we're supposed to pretend like we're educated, let's go over her issues:

"Georgy for Governor Thongs": PRO!

Clean Elections, Energy, Justice System: Pshhh. Leave it to a woman to think of cleaning.

Dislike of Texas: "Do we really want our state to be grouped with George Bush's Texas?" Well, if you're into the whole bigoted hating of whole states based on their stereotypes thing, she's your girl!

Gender Role Restrictions: As I mentioned earlier, Georgy Russell has shown herself to be bigoted not only towards Texas, but towards women in general, with her "As a woman" sentence. For one who supports homosexual marriage as an issue of fairness, she shows a suprising lack of willingness to allow women to make their own decisions, independent of the way they're "supposed to" act. Women are supposed to like female role models, are they? Are all those women who have male role models betraying their sex?

Economic Prosperity: Having money is good. That's the Russell platform on the issue. I approve.

Being weirder than everyone else: "Our once progressive state now stands behind leaders like Maine, Arizona, and Vermont..." Russell is also of the "progressivism is a race" school, with her constant griping about how we suck because other states have done progressive things first. It is apparently very important for her that we do things first, instead of trying to do things right.

Terminology: "This recall is just the latest in a series of assaults on our democracy." Democracy is when the people all vote on issues. Recall is when the people all vote on an issue. The recall is democracy to the extreme (Xmocracy, if you please), but hardly an assault on it.

Mudwrestling the Terminator: According to the Georgy for Governor blog, soy and voter turnout are very closely related.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/31/2003 12:26:00 PM #
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Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Whoa... let's not go overboard

In today's
East Bay Express, your one-stop source for quasi-news, I think they may have gone slightly (ever-so-slightly) overboard on their front page. Concerning the story of that one guy who got corpsified in jail by a nutcase, they show a "Jesus-like" picture of him and say "He died for their sins." Yeah. It's really a completely different type of "for" here. This guy died because the authorities, who were supposed to be protecting him, didn't. Jesus died as a gift of some sort (ask a theology guy, but I know it's a very, very different kind of "for").

Also, dying sucks. Or so I hear.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/30/2003 11:33:00 AM #
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Tuesday, July 29, 2003

Ooooh... purty colors

My eyes hurt looking at those green links, so they've been changed to more traditional colors. Enjoy! And donate to charity! Just because.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/29/2003 11:33:00 AM #
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I want a statement, too

BCR wants an apology for this press release on this paper describing the conservative psychology written by people who, it is cleverly pointed out, are not psychologists. (links shamelessly stolen from The Angry Clam and The Capitalist Worker. You can find Hovannes Abramyan's article in The Patriot here) Fellow blogger Abramyan appears to be BCR's point man on this, which included a TV appearance somewhere. I have to disagree, however, that the study and it's media flurry is "going to hurt conservatives who are already having a tough enough time on campus defending themselves." BCR's favorite complaint is that they are faced with an oppressive atmosphere here on campus, and this is only going to provide further evidence to that effect.

Much to my joy, today's paper included a retort from one of the paper's Berkeley authors, Jack Glaser. (it wouldn't have been too hard to find, but this link was also shamelessly stolen, this time from Calstuff) I haven't read the paper (I'm not that bored), but I imagine he's probably correct that Kelly Coyne's assertion that the research was politically motivated was based on the coverage and not on the paper itself. Perhaps the more important point that should have been more clearly raised is that the university was trumpeting this study, and almost certainly would not have if a study had shown that liberals were, to use Glaser's example, indecisive and, to use my own example, boring. I'm actually quite suprised that the university trumpeted the study at all. Where did they get a trumpet?

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/29/2003 11:25:00 AM #
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What a bunch of idiots

In a strange opinion, some character named "Justin Azadivar" shows an amazing lack of understanding of reality in his
letter to the editor. "Matt Murray should put aside his pointing finger and put on his thinking cap"? What is this, elementary school? Does Murray need a special pass to go to the bathroom?

On down the line a ways is an environmentalist piece from Mike Vandeman. "It's about time we accepted the obvious fact that the Earth doesn't belong to humans. Homo sapiens is a species that is native to a small part of Africa. Everywhere else, we are rank newcomers, compared to all other species, and ought to act like a guest: with restraint." This trio of sentences has so many things wrong with it that I think I'll mention some of them. First off, I fail to see how being a newcomer requires us to act with restraint. I've been alive for a pair of decades. That makes me senior, in fact, to most plants and animals. They should be treating me with respect! I'm their elder! How stupid can you be? We're not visitors, staying over the night at all-the-other-animals-and-plants' house. The Earth doesn't belong to them any more than it does to us. You don't see any other species acting with restraint. Besides, to say that we are newcomers to this continent compared to all other species is downright false. Many plants and animals were introduced to this country by humanity.

Mocking of environmentalists is fun. They make it so easy. Oops, time to go eat genetically modified foods! You know, the ones that are evil because.... because.... umm.... well...

Speaking of crops, Eric Schewe pokes fun at the delay in UC Merced's opening with a cartoon. Except that the cartoon is of a farm. I'm not saying that corn huskin', pig callin', and tractor ridin' aren't legitimate passtimes, but they aren't generally considered diversions anywhere Eric is using as his model. Frankly, his San Franciscan chauvinism deserves some serious ass kickin'. Besides, farms get huge government subsidies, which is a strange image to use when complaining about how the government isn't subsidizing UC enough.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/29/2003 11:03:00 AM #
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Sunday, July 27, 2003


Much to my chagrin, it seems that search engines have finally picked up that I
mentioned Georgy Russell. Or, maybe some people just started searching yesterday. Anywho, I got some 45 hits yesterday, and 40 or so of them were from Georgy Russell searches. Apparently, my once-great readership keeps me near the top of search engine lists, despite getting about 10 hits a day. *sigh* The world may change, but a search engine never forgets.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/27/2003 11:02:00 AM #
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Thursday, July 24, 2003


So, in the continual list of irrelevant updates, we now have a new commenting system: BackBlog. Hopefully it's more reliable, and hopefully it doesn't slow down the page as much as YACCS did.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/24/2003 09:14:00 PM #
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Wednesday, July 23, 2003


I took down comments. No one should notice, since they weren't working anyway, but the page should load better now. So don't be suprised if the Klinky folks come back up and there's no comments here. Also, I think I need a new comment thingie, preferably one that doesn't inhibit fast loading (which was why I liked BlogOut to begin with). If you have any suggestions, leave a comment.... oh... well, e-mail or AIM me.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/23/2003 06:55:00 PM #
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Tuesday, July 22, 2003

Whee some more

Okay, so my new name has grown on me, but I don't much care for "Warwick." Instead, I'm going to use a girl's name. You never know when a girl's name might come in handy, and after all, I suffer from lack-of-penis envy. So yeah, now my name is Beetle Aurora Drake.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/22/2003 10:34:00 PM #
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A finger worthy of Chomsky

As students in the UC system, we're lucky. We've got a student regent. Our student regent is there to represent our interests to the body of the UC Regents, and maybe entertain the group while Ward Connerly is on break. Unfortunately, we're not that lucky, because our student regent seems set on making himself useless.

Maybe it's just because he doesn't have Mo Kashmiri's advice, but
today's opinion from Mr. Murray which points the finger at Republican legislators for our fee hikes is about the most disappointing thing I've ever heard.

It's not that he's wrong. He may very well be right, I'm not masochistic, and I'm not going to bore myself to death following state budget politics. However, even if he is right about everything, who gives a damn?

I can blame people too. I can whine. I'm good at that. We can rely on our various student organizations to whine, too, and point fingers. Kashmiri's probably on the ball, and Anu Joshi throws in her two cents. Joshi has this to say: "We must hold the legislature accountable to the millions of students and parents in this state." (Actually, since Joshi is our External Affairs VP, I kind of expect more from her, too) Murray points out that Republicans won't raise taxes, so we're all screwed.

Notice anything missing in these two opinions? I did. SOLUTIONS.

Yes, that's right, those people who are willing to go through all the trouble to get into these positions have a responsibility well above and beyond whining on our behalf. Anyone can whine on behalf of the student body, and most people do. I'm doing it right now. You don't need to be a VP or a Student Regent. I'm not willing to go through the effort to get one of these positions, and even if I could get these positions without effort, I wouldn't want them, because I can't solve these problems that we face. I have no idea how to solve these problems, and the same probably goes for most people.

But saying "I can't solve these problems" doesn't work when you actually try to get into the position of power where your responsibility is to solve these problems. So let's hear some alternative solutions from our representatives. They're useless otherwise. In fact, this kind of finger-pointing just reinforces the general public opinion that students are merely a bunch of whiny freeloaders with no ideas of their own.

So yeah, let's assume the Republicans are screwing us over. There's nothing the regents can do to change this. "All the Republicans should just change their minds" is not a solution. We need solutions which can be executed by the Regents, or by the student body, not those that rely completely on others. So please, please, please, Mr. Murray, wake up to your responsiblity. You knew what you were getting into.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/22/2003 11:08:00 AM #
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Saturday, July 19, 2003


I got bored, so I changed my name. Yay! With special thanks to vacuum-bound poultry, my full name is now "Beetle Warwick Drake." Warwick is pronounced "Warrick," and Justin can go suck on a popsicle.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/19/2003 11:33:00 PM #
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LaRoucher fun

The Daily Cal throws in a
half-page photo of a LaRouche "campaigner." Extremely appropriately, she's wearing a Spongebob Squarepants T-Shirt. As I was walking by LaRouche's table on Sproul (the only table in the summer), I heard one LaRoucher remarking loudly how he couldn't convince "these people" (us) because they don't think on a "higher level than themselves." So, for fun and joy, I's a'gonna' argue that it's not a higher plane.

Why should thinking "beyond yourself" even be a higher plane of thought? Why should I care who's oppressing who, or which race is facing racism, or whether Bush is mean? It's a bunch of people I don't know facing problems. Whoopdie doo. So what are some common arguments about why I should care?

"You just should. I look down upon you because you don't. I have no real reason to look down on you because you don't, but I just do, and sigh and shake my head when you ask such questions which challenge me to actually justifiy my condescension." Okay, I guess I kind of gave away my argument.

"It's for the children!" Children are scary. Really, really scary. Summer classes are frightening because there's always children running around, and I'm afraid of them. There's no reason to care about the children.

"What if everyone thought that way?" Interesting question. A more important question, though, is "what if everyone didn't think that way," which is actually the case.

"You owe it to society." Really? Who's this society person, and what did she ever do for me? Maybe I'm a little cynical, but I get the feeling that society didn't really go out of its way to accomodate my arrival into this world. It was just a coincidence, really.

"Not everyone has it as well as you do." Yeah, it's good to be me, isn't it? Again, I don't quite see how this matters.

"You have an obligation to use your abilities and talents to help those more unfortunate." Hmm... why? It's too bad those girls who look at me and sigh also already convinced me there's no God, because that tact might have worked.

In conclusion, higher levels of thought have convinced me that caring about other people is not a higher level of thought. I told you logic blows.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/19/2003 11:29:00 AM #
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Friday, July 18, 2003

More Daily Cal Mirth

C'mon, Georgy Russell, you can
win the governorship! Insterestingly, no one even points out that she won't win. Even more interestingly, they point out that she would be the first female governor of California if elected. That's actually true of any woman, not just Russell, and any woman, even those not on the ballot, have as much of a chance as Russell of winning. It's hardly a newsworthy point. But this blog isn't a purveyor of reality by any stretch of the imagination. So let's go to the quotes!

"This recall is just the latest in a series of assaults on our democracy." Um. Hum. Mmm. So the recall is where the people of the state get together and vote their will. Democracy, on the other hand, which is being assaulted by this recall, is where the people of the state get together and vote their will. Boy, picking out quotes without context sure is fun.

"Russell said her hard work and discipline as a UC Berkeley student have instilled a certain determination in her to go after anything she wanted." Holy shit... is that what being a Berkeley student is supposed to do? It didn't happen to me... or to anyone I know who goes here. Actually, it's had the complete opposite effect in every example I can think of. Why don't people tell me these things?

"As a woman, I love to see more female role models where women take stances on political issues." This sentence has so many things wrong with it, I don't know where to start. I could start at the beginning, but that's too traditional, so let's start at the middle: "...female role models where..." Female role models are, as far as I can tell, people, not places. Now, back to the beginning: "As a woman..." Loving to see more female role models is not a "womanly" act. In fact, this kind of statement is the very thing which restricts women to specific roles in society. It declares that certain behavior is "becoming" of a woman. This kind of misogynistic chauvinism is something which we just don't need in a governor. Vote NO for Russell! As if you weren't going to already.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/18/2003 03:00:00 PM #
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Daily Cal Mirth

Doesn't not having money suck? We've already seen countless editorials making this point (editorials which won awards for their insightfulness: Not having money does indeed suck), and now we get to see more of the hillarious consequences! So, in the interest of showing my capacity to be opinion page editor for The Daily Cal, here is my sample editorial:

Not having money sucks. 25% fee increases are bad for students who pay money, but not for students which don't pay money. The 10% nonresident fee hike is also bad for students who pay money, but only those who don't live in California. Money problems are bad, and it would be supercool if the Regents didn't have to raise fees and cut back enrollment. But since we do have money problems, the Regents should raise fees and cut back enrollment. Also, not having money is bad.

Oh, how I long for Mr. Ostrem's slightly-more-interesting editorials (I assume he wrote them. If he didn't, I long for whoever's editorials they were).

In any case, in this time of budget crisis, there's really no way to avoid fee hikes. I hope they decide to do more enrollment-cutting and less fee-raising, but that's just because I'm already here.

Also approved was a green-building policy. This is a bad decision. Green buildings are generally ugly (look at Evans. Everyone but me seems to think it's ugly, and I don't only because I like the shade it throws). Slightly more seriously, there just isn't any money to make things out of more expensive materials.

Similarly, it's too bad Connerly's resolution to ban UC funding of things was struck down. Any program which cuts down funding for things is a good idea in my book. Look for it at your local Barnes & Noble, coming soon: Mommy, Mommy, There's a Bed On Top of my Monster.

And, in a last, horribly sad note, girls who really love their professors can no longer express their love. Thanks a lot, girl-who-accused-that-one-guy-of-rape.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/18/2003 02:46:00 PM #
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Thursday, July 17, 2003

What does your cell phone do?

I bet all of you wish you had my cell phone, which has numerous features not available in most models:

1. Direct audio communication with most land-line or cellular phones.

2. Special paperweight mode for high-wind situations.

3. Complimentary bill sent monthly.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/17/2003 04:43:00 PM #
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Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Stop, Thief!

Good ol' Tom Bates, my favorite politician, is getting around to
trying to make stealing free newspapers illegal. It's not going to be meaningful, though. The District Attorney has already made it pretty clear that it will have no part in prosecuting such "protest crimes," leaving disciplinary action against students in particular to the university, which has also made it pretty clear that it will no longer try to enforce the code of conduct concerning protest crimes.

All this begs the question: How can we abuse this situation? We could vandalize the DA's office and say it's in protest of its refusal to prosecute protest crimes (as we rely on that refusal to get off the hook). Or, alternatively, we could start disrupting classes with other classes. (e.g. burst into an anthropology lecture and teach calculus: "The protest wasn't disrupting education. It was education!" "We will scream without compunction, teaching you to graph the function!") Yes, it's a golden age for pranks with a cause. Hell, we could go set Kevin's dumpster on fire again and call it a protest against the high waste levels of our society.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/16/2003 10:05:00 PM #
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Monday, July 14, 2003

I's a tool!

Yep, I admit it. I'm a tool of the system. I trust my government, accept corporate media, and pay very little attention to foreign policy. I march in lockstep with the sheep of America. And we all know where being a tool is bound to lead us............. contentment.

I've had worse. Sorry, truth-screamers (yeah, I'm talking to you, Mr. Chomsky), you forgot to mention what possible motivation we would have to abandon simple contentment.


posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/14/2003 08:03:00 PM #
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Sunday, July 13, 2003

It's a busy day in blogland

Two big things:

The first involves anal sex, bestiality, and outdated vernacular over at
The Angry Clam in the comments section, where Rebecca C. is defending homsexual marriage, everyone else is defending the refusal of the state to recognize it, and I'm saying something about parasites and toots. On a personal ego note, I succeeded in naming a poster, who used to be anonymous. He now goes by my own name, "blank." This is the second commenter I've named, the first being Chris Cantor (who I named "Can't Speak.") Cool! Check it out! It's lots of fun! Of course, since my entire readership probably already reads the Clam, this is probably extraneous.

Secondly, in an attempt to fulfil my role as a male of this race, I'd also like to direct you over to Rebecca C.'s blog, CalJunket. In an effort to increase nudity on campus, I encourage you all to read and enjoy her blog, as she has offered to hand out Squelches in her underwear if she gets a some traffic this week. It's a really cool blog, too, so I'd recommend it even without the partial nudity. Of course, since my readership is even smaller than hers, I don't think this'll be a huge help. But hey, you can't say I didn't try. (I suppose I could just keep reloading her page, but that would be unsporting, and I'm not really that much of a male)

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/13/2003 09:04:00 PM #
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Over at MSN: "IN A DEEPLY symbolic first public action, the council set April 9 — the day Baghdad fell to U.S. forces — as a national holiday and banned celebrations on six dates important to Saddam and his Baath Party.

Freedom begins with banned celebrations!

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/13/2003 08:44:00 PM #
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From the Beetle product development department

Get these fabulous new toys, coming soon to your UC Berkeley gift shop!

Los Alamos National Lab Playset: Complete with embezzlable solar panels.

West-Face Campanile Watch: Lighter than it looks.

Mayoral Action Figures: With Paper-Recycling Action.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/13/2003 07:09:00 PM #
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I googled the name of my favorite person in the world (me), and came across this curiosity. One of my
Daily Cal letters has been hijacked! While it's flattering that someone would want to hijack my letter, I'm disappointed that the folks over at the Media Awareness Project (MAP) can't actually distinguish between a pro-them letter and an anti-them letter. My letter, which calls into question the dedication of Berkeley progs to freedom, is almost certainly anti-them, not pro-them.

My problem is not that I've been misinterpreted, but that I was considered a member of the MAP (there is no disclaimer anywhere seperating the opinions of MAP from those of the writers of the letters). Hence, my name has been hijacked as a supporter of MAP's agenda. This just doesn't fly well with me. I have contacted the people at MAP and asked for an explanation.

(By the way, not that it matters, but for those of you curious, MAP is a drug-decriminalization group)

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/13/2003 02:52:00 PM #
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Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Vive le Paul!

Paul Thornton decides to attempt to dispel stereotypes that Frenchies hate USies. His evidence is that the people who are specifically trained to be nice to American tourists are nice to American tourists. Hence, Frenchies don't really hate USies.

To be fair, I expect that the extent to which Frenchies hate USies is about the same as the extent to which USies hate Frenchies. It's not really all that serious, it's just a fun stereotype to throw around. My personal experience with Frenchies is somewhat limited, though the few French students here that I know have the maturity of 12-year-olds, and the "concern for their fellow man" of brick.

Are they the "haughty Gauloise-smoking and anti-American French" that we've been led to believe? I couldn't say for sure. I was never led to believe that, mainly because I've never heard the word "Gauloise" before.

While talking about how cool Frenchies really are, he quotes a clerk who says she wants to go live in America. Which doesn't really do much to dismantle the "France sucks, USA rules" mentality. But hey, I never took rhetoric, so what do I know?

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/08/2003 11:13:00 AM #
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On a mildly more serious note, Michelle Doggett, whistleblower/rat at LLNL gets to sue UC much easier after being awarded
whistleblower status. So now, UC will have to pay the price for treating someone who didn't have whistleblower status at the time like someone who didn't have whistleblower status. Those dastardly administrators, not being able to tell the future and all.

I'm not saying she shouldn't sue, though. I really don't know enough about the situation.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/08/2003 11:02:00 AM #
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It came from The Daily Cal!

"The organizers will then separate the women from their families by rounding them up in the theatre." No, it's not a concentration camp. It's an attempt to defend the
world breast-feeding record. From this article, we can make see some important points:

1. The folks keeping track of world records have too much time on their hands.
2. Public breast-feeding is an imporatant issue for some women. After all, why should people have to go to a private place to do something as natural as breast-feeding? That's like not letting men jerk off in public.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/08/2003 10:57:00 AM #
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Sunday, July 06, 2003

Ah, the sounds of Berkeley.

Wandering down the Bancroft, I saw an emergency vehicle screaming by, and was inspired to modify this song (this is about 2 minutes worth of work, so don't expect anything spectacular):

Hello, darkness, my old friend.
I've come to miss you again.
Because a vision loudly screaming,
Drove right by while I was sleeping,
And the shrieking that was planted in my ears,
Still appears
Within the sound of sirens.

In restless dreams I was distraught
From narrow streets of plain asphalt.
'Neath the halo of a street light,
I turned my collar to the screaming sight
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a spinning light
That split the night.
It was the sound of sirens.

And in the naked light I saw
Nothing burning, naught at all.
People talking without hearing.
People hearing but going deaf.
People saying words, that no one'll ever know.
And no one dared.
Talk over the sound of sirens.

"Fools," said I "you do not know,
To the right of the street you must pull."
"Hear my words and I might teach you.
But there's no way in hell 'cause it's way to loud.
So my words, like silent bong-drops fell,
And echoed in the wails of sirens.

And the people deferred and stopped,
For the flashing god they saw.
And the siren flahsed its warning
In the lights that it was storming.
And the sirens said "The problems of the world need emergency services,
'Cept residence halls."
And blared in the sounds of sirens.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/06/2003 09:34:00 PM #
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Friday, July 04, 2003

Happy Day of the Year!!!

It's the 4th of July! The day where we blow things up in order to celebrate the anniversary of July 4, 1776, a day of relatively middling importancce in our country's history. If you don't get it, don't feel bad, because I don't, either.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love this country as a place to live. I just choose to love it 365.2425 days a year, on average, rather than giving it a gratuitous day of love and then forgetting it. It's like a birthday. Supposedly, it is a birthday, though one would be hard-pressed to give a good reason why that particular day could be called the country's birth.

In any case, enjoy the free things which accompany national holidays!

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/04/2003 09:49:00 AM #
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Thursday, July 03, 2003

Beetle votes fatalist

Sure, we all have a fate. It's just that we can't tell what it is. It's clandestiny.

Does this mean that I'm going to stop caring about choosing my life? No, of course not. I'm fated to care about that. Get it?

Well, maybe you do, maybe you don't. It's already predetermined, anyway. Why bother explaining it?

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/03/2003 09:02:00 PM #
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Wednesday, July 02, 2003

What if...

What if instead of dying by suicide, the salesman was called Cat and run over by a streetcar named Curiosity?

Well, maybe it wouldn't have made much of a difference in your life, and the salesman's life hardly matters, being fictional and all. But it does get you thinking on three big questions:

1) Doesn't paper money, at least, grow on trees?

2) How exactly is one partially born or even partially aborted, as in "partial birth abortion"?

3) Is the phrase "The air was so pregenant with tension that you could perform a cesarean section on it" appropriate?

After these questions, it quickly becomes clear that the sun really does rise every day, even if we don't see it due to cloud cover.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/02/2003 10:27:00 PM #
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Tuesday, July 01, 2003

Hey, look! Comments!

Speaking of comments, some people have their own comments about the affirmative action thingamabobber. Kelly and Steve from The Patriot have their
comments, and I must say, I'm completely unconvinced. Now, one might say that there was nothing to convince me of, since I already agree with them about affirmative action, but that's pure sophistry. And, like any good philosopher, I love sophistry. (Hey, I didn't make the word. That's what it says!) On the other hand, I'd have to hand them a bone, as they seem to be finally catching onto what the point is. A little restraint using words like "bigot," "racist," and "race-blind," and they might reach the magical world of "I've changed one person's mind." So far, though, they're with the rest of us, at "I couldn't convince anyone who doesn't already agree with me."

On the other hand, Jeff Ogar and Trevor Mayple choose to be much more explicitly condescending. As well they should be, because, after all, as far as they're concerned, they're right and BAMN's wrong. Mr. Ogar and Mr. Mayple know they're involved in politics for fun, while Kelly and Steve are probably deluding themselves into believing that they're in it for the great ideal of justice. I say probably, of course, because I only use my mind-reading abilities to cause mischief, not to discover deep truths about individual motivations.

Nevertheless, the truth is not "out there" at all. It's perfectly sensible and predictable, and hardly relevant. You hear me, truth-lovers? Irrelevant! Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Or don't. I'll still think you did, even if it's not the truth. Why? Why not, I say.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/01/2003 10:07:00 PM #
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What do you get when you try to put in your two cents, but say something ten times as valuable? A paradigm!

In today's "it sucks to be you":
Matt Murray. The incoming student regent gets to continue the largely unsuccessful mission of outgoing student regent Dexter Ligot-Gordon of preventing students and students-to-be from getting screwed. And things are even worse for Mr. Murray, as he has to do the same work with a smaller budget, a more hostile environment, and one fewer name.

Representing the students is a daunting task, as is evidenced in the article where he has to balance the input from Mo Kashmiri, Mo Kashmiri, Mo Kashmiri and Mo Kashmiri. Mr. Kashmiri points out that "(Murray) will need the help of (campus student group) communities to be a successful student regent." Specifically, he needs the help of the various religious organizations on campus which can bring the power of God to bear, which may provide enough help to lead Mr. Murray to success in his endeavor.

Kevin suggests that Mr. Murray shouldn't be so quick to point out that he is not technically an elected representative, but I must respectfully disagree. He does, after all, "want to be on equal footing with the regents," and none of the other regents were elected to their posts, either (with certain technical exceptions, of course).

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 7/01/2003 09:39:00 PM #
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