Friday, July 18, 2003
Daily Cal Mirth
Doesn't not having money suck? We've already seen countless editorials making this point (editorials which won awards for their insightfulness: Not having money does indeed suck), and now we get to see more of the hillarious consequences! So, in the interest of showing my capacity to be opinion page editor for The Daily Cal, here is my sample editorial:
Not having money sucks. 25% fee increases are bad for students who pay money, but not for students which don't pay money. The 10% nonresident fee hike is also bad for students who pay money, but only those who don't live in California. Money problems are bad, and it would be supercool if the Regents didn't have to raise fees and cut back enrollment. But since we do have money problems, the Regents should raise fees and cut back enrollment. Also, not having money is bad.
Oh, how I long for Mr. Ostrem's slightly-more-interesting editorials (I assume he wrote them. If he didn't, I long for whoever's editorials they were).
In any case, in this time of budget crisis, there's really no way to avoid fee hikes. I hope they decide to do more enrollment-cutting and less fee-raising, but that's just because I'm already here.
Also approved was a green-building policy. This is a bad decision. Green buildings are generally ugly (look at Evans. Everyone but me seems to think it's ugly, and I don't only because I like the shade it throws). Slightly more seriously, there just isn't any money to make things out of more expensive materials.
Similarly, it's too bad Connerly's resolution to ban UC funding of things was struck down. Any program which cuts down funding for things is a good idea in my book. Look for it at your local Barnes & Noble, coming soon: Mommy, Mommy, There's a Bed On Top of my Monster.
And, in a last, horribly sad note, girls who really love their professors can no longer express their love. Thanks a lot, girl-who-accused-that-one-guy-of-rape.
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