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Nap Time!!!

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

X gets the square

I disagree with today's
editorial. When irony pinches the pockets of professional students, it is very amusing.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/31/2005 10:20:00 AM #
Comments (0)
. . .

Go-go-gadget graphic!

*sigh*. Story aside, we've got one of The Daily Cal's famous news illustrations which are essentially glorified Jessica Rifkind-style cartoons. (See previous examples, including invisible date and books of crushing doom) This time it's a donation check. Which reminds me... aren't checks written to the Regents, not the university? I dunno, maybe it's different for donations.

We've also got this graph, which looks like one of those graphs where you're adding up marginal values into a stack, but is actually a bunch of overlapping graphs on the same scale, but with some graphs covering up others.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/31/2005 10:07:00 AM #
Comments (0)
. . .

Um... ow?

Reality TV gets more boring. Now, they're handing out scholarships to people who really should be able to find scholarships without a TV show. (Patriot coverage here)

"It really changes people's lives," [judge lady Marquesa Lawrence] said. "Kids who would never dream of applying to college, let alone Berkeley, have the opportunity to explore that. It's like giving birth all the time."

Now, I'm not a woman, and haven't given birth, so I guess I don't know but... uh... wouldn't that hurt?

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/31/2005 10:02:00 AM #
Comments (0)
. . .

Budget cuts! Run for your lives!

Pardon me while I cry over cuts to
humanities. It's only a matter of time before people are required to actually study in a real field. What a tragedy that would be.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/31/2005 09:57:00 AM #
Comments (0)
. . .


Oh, no! The government is going to know what I'm doing!!!

Putting aside the amazing inflation of self-worth (sorry, lady, the government doesn't really care what you're doing), I wonder if it occurs to these people that the government can already find out what you're doing.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/31/2005 09:52:00 AM #
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. . .
Saturday, May 28, 2005


No, it's not a spot of previously wet space. It's a
building which has been going through some turbulent times. The landlord, being stuck between illegal tenants and a quasi-dictatorial fire marshal, is now trying to get a permit to knock the whole building down so he can evict the tenants, who have refused to leave. Of course, he doesn't actually want to knock the building down, but whatever, it's city government, it's not supposed to make sense.

City officials said approval of the interior demolition permit could be fast-tracked and would not need to go before the city's Zoning Adjustments Board, sparking an angry rebuke from the tenants' legal advisor, Jeffrey Carter.

"The implications of this is that in Berkeley it is easy to throw people on the street for living a slightly bohemian lifestyle," Carter said.

Yeah. That's about right. After all, the important thing in a bohemian lifestyle is renting illegal units.

"We're disappointed the landlord has refused the land trust's offer," said Claudia Viera, a[n illegal] tenant. "It seems like they're trying very hard to get around the law."


posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/28/2005 10:22:00 AM #
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. . .
Thursday, May 26, 2005


Gravity wins!
Another suicide. As folks know, I'm a strong proponent of suicide, and continue to be shocked by the reactions I see. This time, most of the reactions are along the line of

"Dude, he was so cool, I just used him for his coolness and never really bothered to pay attention to his feelings."

Here's an exciting statistic:

In the 43-year history of UC's study abroad program, only 10 out of more than 50,000 students have died, Hanna said.

That's a 99.8% survival rate. Is that good? I dunno how "only" that number is.

Well, there's only one thing to do now. Let's raise student fees.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/26/2005 11:23:00 AM #
Comments (0)
. . .

Take that, young people!

Hahaha! You don't get to vote! Neener neener neener!

Robert Reynolds, president of the Berkeley chapter of the National Youth Rights Association, who helped present the proposal to the council, said he was surprised at the outcome.

"It was sort of ironic that the council members who voted against (the proposal) used their democratic right to vote to deny someone else that same right," Reynolds said.

It's also sort of ironic that the dude running the campaign to get the right to vote for damn kids doesn't even know what a democratic right to vote is. (Here's a hint: Our democratic right to vote involves elections. When our elected officials vote on policy, that's not the democratic right to vote.)

Of course, Betty Olds knows a good sound byte opportunity when she sees one:

Several council members who opposed the measure said 16 and 17- year-olds would not be able to vote intelligently enough.

"There's enough idiots voting already," said Councilmember Betty Olds.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/26/2005 11:11:00 AM #
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. . .
Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Don't you have a job to do?

Now that Chapela has tenure, he'll get to work on his job,
doing research.

"I don't know what I will do next," said Chapela, a biology professor. "This was a very shocking decision, but I'm glad that this small chapter in my story is over. This takes the tenure issue out of center stage and allows us to concentrate on the questions of the corruption of the university and how decisions are made."

Oh. Nevermind, then.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/24/2005 02:09:00 PM #
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. . .
Monday, May 23, 2005

Lemme vote!

Berkeley High students want to vote.

Argument A: Many young folk pay taxes, but don't get to vote.
Note A: Many old folks don't pay taxes, yet do get to vote.

Argument B: Even if young folk are too ignorant to vote, this standard isn't applied in general to old folk.
Note B: See note A. Argument B renders Argument A irrelevant.

Argument C: If young folk get the right to vote, voter turnout will increase.
Note C: See dramatic increase in voter turnout that accompanied lowering the voter age to 18.

So, essentially we have argument B left over, which means that anyone should be allowed to vote. Including young folk. Like, 3-year-old young folks. And maybe dogs.

Sorry, kids, an arbitrary line has to be drawn somewhere.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/23/2005 12:43:00 PM #
Comments (0)
. . .

Whine and thee shall receive

Chapela got his tenure, using the proven method of whining really, really loudly until the university says "screw this" and gives in.

Chapela's supporters have also said the denial stemmed from his vocal opposition to UC Berkeley's 1998 five-year $25 million contract granting Novartis patent rights to research conducted by the department of plant and microbial biology, a Swiss biotechnology firm.

Our department of plant and microbial biology is a Swiss biotechnology firm! OMG! Wait...

After circling Stanley Hall with supporters on bicycles last week in what Chapela called "highly unseasonable rain," Chapela expressed his belief that tenure should not become "a muzzle."

"Tenure should not stop our questioning—yours and mine—any more than rain has stopped our circulation of meaning around and about the bioengineering edifice this week," Chapela said.

Hmm... circulation of meaning, eh? Maybe he ought to lay off the "performance-enhancing drugs," before giving these explanations.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/23/2005 11:29:00 AM #
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. . .

Too much Y

Oh, no! We aren't discriminating enough! An excellent study conclusion.

[Law prof Martha West] said the campuses must combat male-domination of academic fields by taking the steps to convince female graduate students to apply for faculty positions at the university.

"A lot of women in graduate school look at the lives their female professors lead and decide they don't want that path," West said.

Ah, yes, the old "women don't want to do this, and that's 'this''s fault" explanation. Clearly, the only solution is to brainwash women into wanting to follow such a path in life.

In any case, I'm more interested in the picture. It's some CS chick graduating. (Is she getting a Ph.D. or just an undergrad degree? Because, you know, if it's just an undergrad degree, it's hardly topical) But what about those two dudes sitting on the far right? What the hell are they wearing?

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/23/2005 11:20:00 AM #
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. . .

I don't get it

In today's
Strikes in Brief section, we hear about some fascinating strike rhetoric from some other union.

"It shows us just how serious they are about trying to avert the strike. It's kind of insulting, after a year of bargaining and they come out with this," said systemwide Director Dominic Chan.

Oh, my, we don't want to be insulted. It's not enough for them to give in to our demands, they have to do it politely.

Union members voted to hold a one-day strike across UC campuses on May 26 in spite of the offer, alleging violations of labor laws and "bad faith" bargaining practices by UC.

*sigh* I'd take these people more seriously if it actually looked like they were trying to get things for the employees, rather than just throwing fits.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/23/2005 11:06:00 AM #
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. . .
Saturday, May 21, 2005

That's a great idea!

Saving money on commissions?

Councilmembers Dona Spring and Kriss Worthington backed proposals made by various commissioners to have commission members or disinterested parties, such as university students, take meeting minutes to spare staff members.

City Manager Phil Kamlarz said the city couldn't rely on volunteers to take meeting minutes or notice meetings because state law required a high level of consistency and if the volunteers failed to meet state standards the city could be held responsible.

I suppose that's one objection. Another is a more practical objection, which asks the question: "How are you going to get disinterested parties, such as university students, to volunteer to work for free in what's possibly the most boring job to ever exist, especially if you're disinterested?"

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/21/2005 12:36:00 PM #
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. . .


OMG Weapons! We shouldn't be bidding on the weapons lab. I mean, if UC isn't running the lab, nuclear weapons will just go away. Right? Right?

De La Torre of Texas says running the labs diminishes the university’s prestige and Michael Coffey of UC Nuclear Free agrees: "The university's reputation is stained by that relationship (with nuclear weapons)."

Ah, but does anyone who matters agree?

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/21/2005 12:34:00 PM #
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. . .
Friday, May 20, 2005


SF Weekly's Matt Smith doesn't much care for the government bureaucracy, and complains about the Human Rights Commission of San Francisco and their efforts at censorship in the case of a bar over:

[Bar dude Norman Hobday is] at the vortex of a minor tempest among left-wing activists inspired by a box of teeth displayed in a case behind Hobday's barstool. According to a note in the display, the teeth belonged to Col. George Custer's "squaw." The renowned Seventh Cavalry Indian fighter knocked them "out of her mouth in a jealous pique by the 'General' for slipping into the tent of the handsome Lt. James Sturgis on a frosty 'Kansas morn,'" the note said.

While there's a lot of concern over censorship in the government stepping in on the issue, one has to wonder about this more basic question:

What human right was violated? And who had their human rights violated? This is a display of the teeth of some dead woman that were knocked out by some dead man a bunch of years ago.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/20/2005 03:10:00 PM #
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. . .
Thursday, May 19, 2005

I'm tired of reality

On a plan to reduce commissions to save money:

"I kind of look at the commissions as the heart of Berkeley, so it's very painful to start giving it surgery," said Councilmember Dona Spring.

Oh, man, we certainly shouldn't do anything painful to deal with financial trouble.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/19/2005 11:33:00 AM #
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. . .
Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Damn them!

I've mentioned before how people like to blame things on Abu Ghraib. Here we go, right from the Chron:

Newsweek's gaffe -- damage is done
In post-Abu Ghraib era, retraction fails to defuse suspicions Quran was desecrated

In the pre-Abu Ghraib era, though, things would've been different, I suppose. How different? Well, for one thing, a Chron headline writer would have to come up with another sub-header. And... uh... I don't know of any other differences.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/18/2005 12:30:00 AM #
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. . .
Monday, May 16, 2005

Proof by contradiction

I have an opinion! Maureen Dowd and Thomas Freedman, two of those people who are greatly respected for whining a lot (i.e. columnists), make an appearance in an article titled "Columnists Are Opinionated on Campus." Setting the tone, let me just mention that this article is located right next to today's Daily Cal column from Alex Stathopoulos, which is the least opinionated type of column: The "Here's some cool stuff to do" column.

Anyway, consider this sentence that I've hacked together from various parts of the article:

Dowd, the author of "Bush World: Enter at Your Own Risk," said a nonpartisan approach to columns leaves her without a natural constituency, in front of a packed crowd.

Niiiiiice. Lady, bitching about Bush gives you a natural constituency faster than you can say "Bush Lied, People Died."

Both did not hesitate to attack the Bush administration, which Friedman said "does not reach out to anyone that (he knows) that doesn't 100 percent share their view."

I'm not entirely sure what that sentence means, but it sure sounds bad.

"We are reeling backwards in science and not supporting stem cell research," [Dowd] said. "The whole country is just being kind of yanked around by this politicized evangelical Christian right."

She did mention how nonpartisan she was, right?

Dowd, who received the Pulitzer Prize for distinguished commentary in 1999, said the stigma attached to being a "polemicist" is why "there aren't many women columnists, and why teenage boys trash talk on the basketball court more than teenage girls."

Also, the citrus flavor of oranges is why North Dakota can be found North of South Dakota.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/16/2005 08:11:00 AM #
Comments (0)
. . .


The Public is handcuffing Pi Kappa Phi! And just recently handcuffed the Greek Community! This cartoon displays the important symbolic point that... uh... Pi Kappa Phi doesn't wear a shirt.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/16/2005 08:07:00 AM #
Comments (0)
. . .

Election thoughts

It wouldn't really be an ASUC election without a computer malfunction.
It waited 'till the last minute, but eventually, the computer malfuncted and delayed things.

Buenrostro said he wants to help the ASUC become less partisan and use his office to educate students about relevant political and social issues, like the genocide in Darfur and affirmative action.

Those are great topics to take on if you want to help the ASUC become less partisan.

The good news is that Manny is planning on "stressing education," a curious position for someone leading a student government. His solutions to all of the problems of the world? Forums! Lots and lots of forums!

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/16/2005 07:58:00 AM #
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. . .
Friday, May 13, 2005

LOL Election

Election results are out. Some of these commenters on Calstuff are taking this very seriously. Like, "OMG, my candidate lost, that's bullshit!!!" seriously. Dudes, chill, it's the ASUC.

Anyway, I'm pretty satisfied with the results. Student Action won the exec spots, which should keep "Grand social justice projects" in check. And there are 8 SA folks, 7 CalSERVE folks, but Yvette and the Wayward Wang made it, too, so they're essentially counted with CalSERVE. I don't know much about those other folks, (Narodick'll probably swing SA usually). In any case, the good news is that nobody has enough folks to dominate everything, so hopefully the ASUC won't be able to do anything but hand out money.

I'll be taking a look at their campaign literature once I get some free time and cook up some preliminary ASUC awards for the incoming cadre of resume-boosters. (I don't know where I can find some for the independents who made it on, though, so if anyone knows, it'd be appreciated)

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/13/2005 08:17:00 PM #
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. . .
Thursday, May 12, 2005

Whine, whine, whine

"Hey, you people are all EVIL! DAMN YOU ALL! FUCK YOU ALL! FUCK YOUR CULTURE! Fuck you for not seeing the world through my eyes, and instead caring about how you feel about the issue. FUCK YOU! You're all idiots for not believing my words as if I'm God. How dare you form your own opinions!"

Yeah, that's an impressive
commencement speech. What a cad.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/12/2005 11:04:00 AM #
Comments (0)
. . .

Gimme back my booze!

Alcohol moratorium. I'm still a bit confused as to why the Greek system is even tied to the university (what do they get from the university?), but hey, you don't have to understand everything to laugh at some poorly thought-out quotes.

Greek leaders said the announcment of the moratorium is putting pressure on an already strained relationship between the Greek community and the university.

"It's done a lot to harm trust. We already didn't trust the university because of the moratorium three years ago," said Phi Delta Theta President Bret Manley. "A lot of people feel the university doesn't want the Greek system around."

What a coincidence. Not only to people feel that way, it's also true.

Some Greek societies said they are worried about recruitment next fall with the ban.

Brian Bechelli, who will attend UC Berkeley in the fall, said that a ban on alcohol lessens the Greek system's appeal.

"If there's no alcohol involved in the frat system, there's no draw to it," Bechelli said. "Even though there's more appeal to (fraternities) than drinking, it's basically the backbone, from a high school student’s perspective."

That's the spirit. "We underage drinkers really only go to the frats for the booze." That'll get the university off their back real soon.

(In other news, I recommend all frats take note of this Brian Bechelli dude and "blacklist" him or some such.)

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/12/2005 10:56:00 AM #
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. . .
Monday, May 09, 2005

How cute

Newspapers are so cute when they try to justify their existence.

Like this. (Hey, it's hard to consider you just "the messenger" when you folks actually try to create the news)

Anyway, here's a classic.

Bush shouldn't have allowed states to make their own decisions about forestlandusing or whatever you call it.

States with the biggest tracts of roadless wilderness, such as Alaska and Idaho, are eager to dump the bans and allow roads that will spur timber-cutting and mineral exploration.

Oh, no, we must stop them! God forbid we let fucking Alaskans decide what to do with Alaska's land. It should totally be left up to Californians. Because we're so much better than them, you see.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/09/2005 06:24:00 PM #
Comments (0)
. . .

Suicide this!

Temina Fight-Depression-By-Raising-Student-Fees Madon
writes to tell us about all the specific work being done with our upcoming fee increase.

Students will begin to see changes at the Tang Center in Fall 2005, including extended hours for urgent care, labs, and x-rays and Saturday hours for the pharmacy. Other improvements, such as online scheduling of appointments, will take more time to implement. Other improvements, such as online scheduling of appointments, will take more time to implement. (emphasis mine)

Yeah, I'll bet. Those are key words which mean "getting it done."

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/09/2005 10:37:00 AM #
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. . .


I didn't know
Noah was a girl's name.

As Peter Griffin leads a circus into his backyard on one Family Guy episode, he says to his wife, "Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a fat white guy who’s threatened by change." In most cases, "white" would be the only of those descriptors ascribed to me.

Anyway, Noah Cohen-Cline also has too many names.

This is not a light matter. Dr. Frist's proposal has been popularly dubbed the "nuclear option," for its potential to end politics as we know it, and many Democratic senators have responded by threatening a complete shutdown of Senate proceedings.

Oh, yeah, ending filibusters'll definitely end politics as we know it. By the way, does anyone know how people can write this stuff with a straight face? Or maybe they don't, and Noah was laughing as he wrote it.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/09/2005 10:34:00 AM #
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. . .


Oh, no!


Lynne Stewart is under trial for passing on a message from her client that she wasn't allowed to pass.

Lisette B. Poole complains about how the government is wrong to try her for defending an unpopular dude.

Now, while one could argue that she's only facing trial because her client dude is unpopular, Poole doesn't do so. She just goes straight from one to the other.

Her trial has raised concerns among civil rights organizations who are challenging the U.S. PATRIOT Act, which gives police authorities sweeping powers to indiscriminately search the homes and personal records of citizens.

Does it really? I mean, really, does it? Have you ever read it?

One has to wonder, too, how putting out a press release for her client was part of her job as his defense attorney. But hey, whatever. Don't let me get in the way of a good bitch about civil rights.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/09/2005 10:29:00 AM #
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. . .

Don't forget the facts

The Daily Cal.

But neither Nanos, the university nor the lab would say whether the heavy criticism and media frenzy surrounding the Web log was a factor in his decision to leave.

The Chron.

The blogs made no difference to Nanos, though: "Anyone who thinks that a decision as important as who is director of Los Alamos National Laboratory is influenced or directed by people anonymously complaining about their boss on the Internet is deluding themselves. It absolutely does not have that kind of clout, nor should it," said Kevin Roark, a Los Alamos spokesman.

I dunno, sounds like they are saying whether it was a factor. And saying that it wasn't. Now, you might argue that the spokesdude is just bullshitting, but he still said it.

I can understand being lazy, but come on, if someone else already did the reporting for you, you don't really have much of an excuse, Lisa Humes-Schulz. Ha! This is what happens when you let women write. Women with hyphens in their name, even.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/09/2005 10:23:00 AM #
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. . .

Sound bite

Betty Olds, on giving bums more time to work off debts to the city:

"If homeless people don't have a job to go to and all, why would they need an extension of time? They're free during the day to do this," Olds said.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/09/2005 10:10:00 AM #
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. . .
Sunday, May 08, 2005

So typical

Sadly, some parents don't push their kids to succeed, while others do. This must change.

We must discourage parents from pushing their kids to succeed. *sigh*

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/08/2005 06:14:00 PM #
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. . .
Saturday, May 07, 2005


Microsoft supports gay rights. Which makes perfect sense, because, as they say, "Straight men use firefox."

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/07/2005 11:05:00 AM #
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. . .
Friday, May 06, 2005

More on Budgeting

From Student Action's wayward Wang, on budgeting:

"We were looking at who needs the money the most, not who votes more often," Wang said.

Translation: Elections are already over.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/06/2005 05:51:00 PM #
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. . .


In today's Daily Cal, there's an ad from Ned's bookstore about buybacks. With something to the effect of (I don't have it in front of me):

P.S. We promise not to lose your buyback money.


posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/06/2005 05:49:00 PM #
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. . .

DC Sprint

Agreement between the city and the university. The summary: The city will do what the university says. Also, city attorney dude Zach Cowan says Dona Spring broke the law by telling folks what happened.


"Because of the cuts, we will be a drastically different organization because we just don’t have the money," said Mike Lieberman, SUPERB concerts co-assistant manager. "Our budget is very high, so we're an easy target. Often times people don't understand the amount of money needed to organize large-scale events. We entertained 30,000 people this year."

Zach Liberman entertained thousands, and it barely cost the ASUC a thing. It's a capitalistic world out there, and you've got to compete.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/06/2005 01:17:00 PM #
Comments (0)
. . .

So... uh...

Where's the ostrich?

Did you know that anti-gay bigots wear trenchcoats and carry highly visible knives? Good thing they only hang out outside of Berkeley, where a "Welcome to Berkeley" sign would be. And it looks like the gays are leaving Berkeley.

Thanks, Wendy Trinh. We need a replacement for Jessica Rifkind.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/06/2005 01:15:00 PM #
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. . .
Thursday, May 05, 2005

Just some quick advice

Look how small Liberman looks. If you're going to be a protest leader, don't do it with someone who dominates you in atmosphere.

Anyway, continuing the presidential tradition, ASUC Jester Zach Liberman gets arrested.

Senate Aide Antonino Patti said he contacted ASUC Executive Vice President Christine Lee after he noticed the doors were locked at 6 p.m. Lee called UCPD, who arrived and negotiated with the pair.

Doesn't someone have the key?

"I'm all in favor of protest when they're necessary and when there's a strong and compelling reason," said ASUC President Misha Leybovich. "It probably wasn't the right time because he hadn’t exhausted all possibilities ... I just feel bad for the guy. The ASUC is supposed to be a good thing."

Strong words!

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/05/2005 09:25:00 AM #
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. . .
Wednesday, May 04, 2005

I hate you and everything you like!

More on those
dastardly recruiters.

"I definitely am opposed to discrimination within the military. I don't think gay people should be denied the right to serve in the armed forces," said Kevin Rivera, co-chair of the Boalt Hall Queer Caucus. "But I feel that the issue is much larger."

He said universities should be able to base whether they want military recruiters on campus on military activity such as the war in Iraq.

Well, at least he admits he's more anti-military than anti-discrimination. Of course, putting the two together (gays should be allowed in the military, and we should stop people from going to the military) doesn't quite make sense. Not to mention that going to war is a political decision, and not a military one.

Last year, members of the Boalt Hall Queer Caucus occupied several interview slots with military recruiters to "waste their time" and minimize their impact at the fair, Rivera said.

What are they so afraid of? If they do everything in their power to keep people like them from ever entering the military, should it come as any shock that the military doesn't share the opinion of people like them?

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/04/2005 09:57:00 AM #
Comments (0)
. . .

Sit down for this

Get this...
A panel discussion... with actual disagreement among the panelists. Unheard of!

By the way, where was Yoo for that "Teach-in on Torture"?

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/04/2005 09:56:00 AM #
Comments (0)
. . .

More like a crime against intelligence

Who likes hate crimes?

One of the victims, UC Berkeley student Robert Andres Perez, said he was walking from an underwear-themed party—wearing a shirt with "I (heart) boys" printed on it—with his boyfriend and three friends when a man accosted them, yelling anti-gay epithets.

Underwear-themed party? Can any of you shed light on what an "underwear-themed" party involves?

The group walked quickly to Perez's car parked on Durant Avenue near Piedmont Avenue and speeded away, Perez said. The man followed them on foot, and while the group was stopped at a nearby intersection, he ran up to the car and slashed it with the knife, Okies said.

Knife vs. Car. Hmm...

"I just realized that maybe Berkeley isn't as liberal as we think," he said.

Because liberal people never commit hate crimes.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/04/2005 09:53:00 AM #
Comments (0)
. . .

I would've parsed that differently

News in Brief:

The Berkeley Jewish Journal earned honors as the best news magazine for providing a voice for the campus Jewish community with interviews and news stories.

Wow... that's a very specific category.

On a guy who died of heart failure:

"It's really a tragedy," said Michael Moore, chairman of Pacific Masters Swimming, the organization that hosts the annual meet. "Our hearts go out to his friends and family."

Gee... couldn't you have worded that a bit more tactfully?

On Affirmative Actionish stuff:

Rally Targets 'Modest' Gains in Admissions Diversity

That'll show minorities not to have modest gains in admissions.

Although 11 more American Indian students were admitted this year than last year, the process of admitting these students needs re-evaluation, said Veronique Richardson from the Native American Recruitment and Retention Center.

Other races' admissions do not need re-evaluation.

"This institution, which prides itself on having Nobel Prize-winning researchers, has not had an internal audit on diversity since 1991," said Peter Gee, executive director of bridges. "If they can do so much for the world outside of Sather Gate, then they can do the same for much-needed minority statistics."

Yes, please save the poor statistics. Oh, and maybe help out the minorities, too.

On some boat thing:

Ferry Party Fray Lands Fraternity in Hot Water

Hahaha! Nice! Fifty headline-writing points!!

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/04/2005 09:45:00 AM #
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. . .
Tuesday, May 03, 2005


Rifkind cartoon! You see, it's funny, because now UC wants to accept race as a consideration. So, it goes from




Why the question mark? I dunno. Why is it on the application for admission, which includes a spot for marking race anyway? Beats me. But hey, it could've been worse. It could've been one of the usual Jessica Rifkind cartoons.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/03/2005 09:27:00 AM #
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The Daily Cal hops on the autonomy bandwagon.

Over the many years the assembly has attempted to assert autonomy, its objectives have become milder and milder. From political and economic independence a few years ago to this election's "autonomy," the language and goals have been substantially toned town.

Sadly, it is precisely this "toning down" that makes GA autonomy so impossible. While the ASUC might be willing to grant the GA autonomy, giving it partial autonomy is just stupid. Autonomy implies both independent decision-making and independent responsibility. When autonomy demands get toned down, the GA no longer seeks both of these things, and whatever autonomy is granted is one-sided and unfair to one of the parties.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/03/2005 09:22:00 AM #
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You lose!

The Daily Cal says, of Zach Liberman's two campaign violation thingies:

Since the council ruled in Liberman's favor on the first charge, Liberman, who has already been censured twice, no longer runs the risk of being disqualified from the election. Candidates are disqualified after receiving five censures.

Good reporting!

In other news, Zach Liberman has been disqualified, as he received two censures for each of the two remaining violations. Also, in the second decision, we see how gracefully the senate wrote the by-laws:

Furthermore, while considering the five-censure threshold, the Judicial Council noticed a contradictory and unconstitutional law in 4.13. According to, "receiving five (5) or more censures from the Judicial Council for the same ASUC election" is an elections violation, which warrants two to three censures per If followed, it would result in an infinitely recursive sanction against Mr. Liberman, who has just hit the five-censure threshold, resulting in an infinite number of censures. Obviously, this makes no sense from a logical standpoint. Also, the Constitution, Article XI, Section 1 guarantees due process and equal protection of the law. We believe that, in effect, punishes a candidate for being punished, which is a blatant violation of due process. Therefore, the Judicial Council hereby orders to be unconstitutional and stricken from the By-Laws.

(as a sidenote, I actually disagree with the decision to assign two censures for each offense, but I don't really care. I also agree with Liberman's complaint about Royer only filing clean-up violation charges against him, but that case has been dismissed, so it doesn't really matter. Not that that'll stop Liberman, necessarily.)

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/03/2005 09:14:00 AM #
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Neighbor-be-gone!. Here are the talking points.

We have to get rid of her, her house enables drug use.

We only wanted to sue as a last resort to get rid of her, we don't really care about the money.

She refuses to improve.

Yes, she's improved, but who knows how long it will last?

We are suing her for damages in the past.

Hmm... I dunno... seems a bit contradictory...

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/03/2005 08:57:00 AM #
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More military recruitment whining.

The opt-in policy, supported by Alameda County School Superintendent Sheila Jordan, drastically reduces the number of names given to recruiters.

The opt-out policy is not advertised enough, Jordan said, which results in too many students receiving recruiters' messages without hearing an opposite side about the military.

Umm... But it's okay for them to receive the anti-military messages without hearing an opposite side about the military?

Coplan also said the opt-in policy has been preferred by recruiters at Berkeley High because instead of receiving a long list of generally unresponsive students, they are given a shorter list of interested students.

"They're quite pleased because in the past they've never got anyone from Berkeley,” Coplan said. "In the past they would come by, drop off pencils and that was about it. It’s more effective and a better use of their time."

But Sergeant First-Class Jemahl Martinson, manager of the U.S. Army Recruiting Station in Oakland, said he would prefer a fuller list of names because he said young people often change their minds about joining the military.

Gee, when the BUSD spokesman lies, what are the kids supposed to take as a role model?

"It's absolutely horrible and disgusting that people are even entertaining the idea that it's okay to give out personal information to military recruiters," said Berkeley High School junior Ellen Cushing, who chose not to release her information to recruiters.

What a mild opinion. How dare people even think about giving people opportunities that they have the ability to decline?

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/03/2005 08:51:00 AM #
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Monday, May 02, 2005

Boring news day

It's a really boring newsday. Nothing interesting in The Daily Cal. The Bruin is handing out endorsements, so nothing to laugh at there. Instead, catch this gem from
The Boston Globe:

IT WAS, as always, a pleasure to pick up the op-ed page and be lectured (this time in a Derrick Jackson column) about how Americans are uncurious and ignorant about the world ("The insular American," April 29).

Nigerian playwright and Nobel Prize winner Wole Soyinka, whom Jackson interviewed, feels that Americans are so behind in their knowledge that they'd better start with something as basic as geography -- understanding, for example, "why Eskimos live in igloos."

Soyinka might be surprised to hear that Eskimos don't live in igloos but use them as hunting lodges. The rest of us might wonder how Soyinka became so certain of the ignorance of others.


Update: In the period over which I wrote this post, The Globe added registration to their website. *sigh*

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 5/02/2005 10:13:00 AM #
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