Confirmation:

This is the meat of the email that I [and listed were an additional 150 or so other freshmen] received from some cunt who 'really' wants me to learn about the wonders of alcohol:

Dear New UTSA Freshman,

Through orientation, emails, posters and on ASAP, you were informed of a mandatory alcohol online class in which Part I was to be completed by January 17, 2006. As of February 9, you have not completed Part I. Part II is to be completed by March 18, 2006. Failure to complete alcohol EDU will result in an academic hold that will prevent you from registering for classes next fall and receiving your spring semester grades. Please take Alcohol EDU as soon as possible!

Please follow the directions to log on Alcohol EDU and complete the course:

KEY DATES TO REMEMBER
* January 17, 2006 - You must complete Part I of the course (through the final exam and survey 2) by this date, with a passing grade of 70.
* March 18, 2006 - The Course Conclusion (Part 2) will need to be completed by this date.

...so there you have it. I had been extremely patient throughout the first... 35 seconds or so of the AlcoholEdu program. Shortly thereafter, I began experiencing an unexplainable rage and was about to embark on a homicidal rampage... and then I had what alcoholics like ourselves would refer to as a moment of clarity; I knew that I had to produce as much spuriousness in their surveys as possible. After that everything was cool. I, like you, began recording various idiocies appearing on the pages, as well as my responses to their absurd and wholly unrepresentative questions and surveys. More on that later, perhaps; for now, this comment is probably much too long as it is.