Friday, January 30, 2004
It's Super Bowl Sunday! Or it will be, when Sunday rolls around. So what are fictional people saying about it?
Over-enthusiastic live reporter: What's it gonna' take for Carolina to beat New England?
Random guy on street: Umm... More points?
That's right. This year's Super Bowl includes two teams which didn't have the decency to name themselves after states or cities. What are Bostonians saying about getting the shaft?
Fat old woman: They should throw people in jail because I feel like it! JAIL! Think of the children! Don't you see how the Super Bowl is exactly the same way?
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Monday, January 26, 2004
A brief lesson for Mr. Angelides
Fact: "When young people speak out, that’s the voice that stands out..."
Supplemental: as annoying and something to be ignored at all cost.
No one likes noisy late teens/early twenties kids.
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All four Daily Cal columnists have put out their first columns, so I may as well say a few words.
Gina Merlone, flitting from topic to point to other topic faster than Jesus's secretary, is certainly misplaced. We arleady have a sports section, and the sports section has its own columnists, which is where she belongs (if she can compete, which she probably can't). Zero stars.
Jia Jung is our Sex on Tuesday columnist. While I'm not really SoT's target audience, it's nice to see someone writing about something other than "how to have sex," which is what we've dealt with for the past few years. There's more to sex than instruction, and if you want instruction, just read older columnists. I don't have any stars to hand out, as they're pretty damn hot, but if I did, I'd give her one.
Faith Stein is returning, for no good reason that I can see. Her complete lack of willingness to even try to understand her fellow humans is a personal affront to me, also for no good reason. I was actually quite satisfied to see a suprisingly sound argument for why men should be able to demand abortions from one Gardner Andersen. Not that there was any alternative, but she gets zero stars, too.
Amina Sutherland-Stoltling is this semester's hope for interesting columns, though that's what I said about Faith Stein last semester. Despite her idiotic picture, I'm looking forward to reading more from her. As many stars as I have (0).
What's missing is, of course, the Y chromosome. Everyone knows interesting columnists are either male or think like a man.
The guest columnist spot looks potentially promising, although it clearly depends on who they pick. Also, changing columnists in mid-semester is a great idea, especially with this semester's landscape. So cheers to Henry Lopez (or whoever's responsible) for trying to improve the opinion side of the paper. Lord knows The Daily Cal isn't getting by on its spectacular news coverage.
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Thursday, January 22, 2004
Unlike last year's black female columnist, this year's, Amina Sutherland Stoltling, seems to be aware of herself as more than just black. And while her picture and name are ridiculous, (Stoltling? Who the hell came up with that?) her column is mildly interesting, which is likely going to be the best we can hope for again.
This contrasts with dismissive Faith Stein who returns with her tightly closed mind which refuses to even bother to understand what other folks are saying (and admits it, in this column). One of the biggest problems of the abortion debate is that people don't know what they're talking about. Ms. Stein doesn't seem to be on top of what goes on in uteruses (uteri?) when she mentions "oversized pictures of aborted zygotes displayed by some protesters." Aborted zygotes would be single cells. Birth control leads to aborted zygotes.
I'm still on vacation, by the way.
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Monday, January 19, 2004
It's that time of year again
Today was Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Berkeley students are more familiar with it as "that Monday before classes start." My request is the same as every RDMLKJD: Please stop quoting him as if to make a point. If you let corpses argue for you, you probably should leave it to people who have some original thought. It's not going to be right just because RDMLKJ said it. It'll be right because it's right.
Just as with JFK, I also have to remind folks that RDMLKJ is dead. Let go. He was a human being, not a god. He came into this world as an annoying ball of pissing and crapping, just like everyone else.
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Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Here's a shocker. Carol Moseley Braun is dropping out of the democratic presidential race. Asked for comment, she said "It's because I'm black, and I'm a woman. Now, what was the question (not that it matters)?"
I don't care how many slogans folks have been slinging, here's my prediction: We won't have a Democratic president in 2004.
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Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Beetle's Musical Korner
Korner starts with a c.
Today: The Beatles! You may have heard of this half-dead band, and you may even have heard of loads and loads of praise heaped upon this band. I am here to tell you: Don't buy the hype. Their music isn't really all that good.
"What do you know?" you might say. "The Beatles were the first band of their kind, and had a huge influence on music."
I don't disagree. But if being influential makes your productions good, then you're going to piss off a lot of Jews when I make a Hitler reference. (The reference is that Hitler was influential, too, if you didn't catch on)
As far as being the first of their kind, this should really count against their music. Whenever something's done for the first time, it's almost invariably done poorly. Go find a 20-year-old computer if you want to see what I mean. Further refinements are always necessary.
As far as the music itself goes, some of it comes from the same mind which brought you "5 minutes of naaa naa naa nanananaaaa" and the rest came from a guy who managed to get himself killed by his own fan. If that's quality, I'd hate to see what crap is.
Moving on, though, to a related situation, Nirvana's music is also not very good. I'll admit, Kurt could whine with the best of them, but if I want to hear whining I'll go to a political rally. The arguments for Nirvana's greatness are even stranger. They "brought that kind of music to the mainstream" hardly seems like a plus for a culture which frowns heavily on the "mainstream." (It is mainstream to bash the mainstream, after all) Further, since the bands that Nirvana spawned are almost always crapped upon by Nirvana fans, you'd have to count "creating a bunch of crappy bands" in the minus column, too. Kurt didn't even need a loony fan to kill himself.
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Not that it matters
No one who comes here and is interested doesn't already go to a different blog which has adressed this, but instead of blowing folks off like I usually do, for technicality reasons, the following comes from Misha Leybovich (My objections to "Misha" being a male name have not changed, however):
Come to the 3rd semesterly ASUC Bookswap!
Buy, sell, and trade with other students and cash in without the middleman!
Tuesday and Wednesday, January 20 & 21
11 am - 3 pm
for more info ...
web: csba's bookswap.berkeley.edu
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Friday, January 09, 2004
We're on SportsCenter!
If you watched SportsCenter on ESPN today, you'll find that four of the top ten plays of yesterday were Arizona dunking on our men's basketball team. Go Cal!
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Tuesday, January 06, 2004
I'm still on vacation, so nothing to say yet, but come back in a week, I've got lots to whine about. (In Matt Hasselbeck's defense, he did throw the game-winning touchdown, so his boasting wasn't entirely inappropriate)
That's right. Anticipated return date: January 13. As usual, I'm going to promise a new attitude, new format, blah blah blah. Long-time readers know the drill. Stay tuned, ellipsis man.
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