i like how she brought up hillary clinton in an article about a stabbing in berkeley
 

Bravo, Becky O' Malley. Bra-Fucking-Vo.

I mean, it's one thing to so blatantly trivialize the death of a young man for your own cause. To be fair, I didn't know Chris, so I can't necessarily defend him, but neither did you, did you Becky? The integrity you showed by quoting an outdated MySpace diary of an account you have no way of confirming and portraying Chris as as some of thug based on pure speculation of the events leading up to his death was astonishing. You made sure you did not tarnish your objective view by not once showing one bit of remorse for the death of this "boy", as you so cleverly referred to him, beyond once calling it "tragic". An amazing feat of journalism, I must say.

And, that would have been enough. Except then your writing transcends to a whole new level. You imply that alcohol was involved in the murder through a second-hand account at the Julia Morgan Theater of unidentified people purchasing kegs of beer. I mean, no other media outlet or public report has confirmed that Chris was drunk - but you were very cleverly able to deduce this crucial piece of information.

And then, suddenly, you provide us with an unsourced first person account of what actually happened that night. Chris and his friends clearly got "disrespected", surrounded this one knife-wielding man, went to attack him for the thrill of it, and in self-defense the victim of this one-on-twenty brawl lashed out and stabbed Chris. It's like you were actually there, the facts seem so real. I mean, you just can't make this stuff up.

And just when you think it can't get any better, the triumphant feat: comparing fraternities to gangs. You show that the drug dealing that occurs 500 miles away at San Diego State clearly represents the exact same things that occur at Berkeley because, well, you say they do. And fraternities, originally formed and run with the purpose of community service and promoting religious faiths, are clearly the same intents followed by gangs which use ideology to brainwash members to promote violent criminal activity. To think, no one had saw it before, but you, Becky, you made it so clear to us.

So to solve this problem, you propose to ban fraternities from the University of California. An excellent solution. Declaring gang affiliations illegal and deploying special anti-gang task force groups decimated the gang population overnight in our inner cities. Why shouldn't similar tactics cure underage drinking and juvenile behavior?

I wish I had time to analyze some of the other finer points of your writing, like your implication that all gang warfare is between "colored kids" and all fraternity members are white. Or that amazing story about your friend Chester. Or the insightful way gender politics are infused with your work. But I'm sure you already know how great your writing is, and so does the Berkeley Daily Planet. I'm sure they're holding off the hordes of respectable publications trying to woo your talents to green pastures. I can only hope that you continue to serve the Berkeley community in the intelligent, non-partisan, and insightful way that you have served us in the past.

Sincerely,

A Fan
 

Becky leaves hope in the minds of indecisive seniors wondering whether they will ever be employable. If she can do it, by golly so can I!
 

She also compared the stabbing to both Romeo and Juliet and Westside Story in the same sentence. (Westside Story is based on Romeo and Juliet.)