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Nap Time!!!

Sunday, April 01, 2007

John O'Connor has a real plan for the AAVP office:
As Academic Affairs Vice President, I will offer you the one thing that no other candidate can offer: $30.


All you have to do is vote me into office and then pray that the $30,000 AAVP office budget I take to Vegas with me is bet on the correct number at the roulette table.

If I hit that number, which I have a 2.36% chance of doing, I walk out of the casino with $1,050,000. Divided up between everyone on this campus, that's $30 per student.

"But John," you're asking aloud, which is making you look awfully strange since I'm not there, "What if you lose? How will the AAVP office survive?" The answer is who cares? No one on this campus knows what the AAVP office does, and yet they have a huge unchecked slush fund to run moronic programs with.

Pure and simple: vote for me and get a shot at $30 in your pocket. And if I lose the money, so what? You weren't going to see it a single cent of it anyway.
Sadly, this is the most sensible plan I've ever heard for the AAVP office.

posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 4/01/2007 12:25:00 PM #
Comments (2)
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While this was posted on April Fool's Day, this is my actual platform.
Yay! As sensible a platform as any.

(And what exactly does the AAVP do? And how the hell did they get thirty grand to do it?)
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