Tuesday, April 24, 2007
The SQUELCH! Signatory Poem
By Ben Narodick
Recited on the floor of the Senate
Hello my friends! Gather around
for a story that's a bit off key -
The life and times, feats of wonder,
it's the SQUELCH! Party history.
For thousands of years, we have done our best,
to be humanity's protective veil;
slaying dragons, defending the weak
and guarding the Holy Grail.
Then nine years ago, like Brian Boitano,
We embraced a challenging test:
"Reform the ASUC!" students cried.
They pled, and we acquiesced.
In those few years, we did enough
To publicize our intentions
Jello wrestling, budget reform,
and of course, online elections
Today, we're stronger than ever,
led to battle most recently,
by David Israel Wasserman in the Senate.
Our signatory, of course, is me.
So what did the Senate do to earn
this lesson of our legacy?
The true reason is, I am sorry to say,
that this is our last month in Berkeley.
But to allay your fears that, in our absence,
Our leadership grows weak and porous -
I announce tonight our two new signatories:
Joe Rothberg and Andy Morris
These two men, of brilliant mind
And amazing qualifications
Will take the heroically brave SQUELCH! Party
To unheard of elevations
So, FEAR NOT! students of Berkeley,
Your future looks quite hearty,
With Joe and Andy, heroes of justice,
Leading the illustrious SQUELCH! Party!
The ASUC
Needs more officers like us
SQUELCH! is here to stay
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