Quick Election Guide Tired of digging through the mess of slanted opinions to find out how to vote on your favorite issues? Beetle Beat presents the one-sentence position summary on various controversial issues: President/Vice President Bush: God damn, I hate those damn liberals. Kerry: Generic, non-denominational, and possibly nonexistent diety damn, I hate those damn conservatives. U.S. Senator Barbara Boxer: I support Barbara Boxer. Other guy: I oppose Barbara Boxer. Prop 60 (Keep primary system the same) Yes: OMG, my party is doomed if this passes!!! No: I don't really feel like changing the constitution, what with the paperwork and all. Prop 62 (Blanket primaries) Yes: G'hehe... I can totally shut out the other party with this one. No: See Prop 60, yes. Prop 66 (Three Strikes Reform) Yes: I don't like thinking about things in context, so I'll just throw a hysterical fit when I hear about someone going to jail for 25 years for stealing a toaster. No: Bad things should happen to bad people. Measure Q (Prostitution decriminalization) Yes: Read No. That's the position of "The Man." I want to oppose "The Man." No: Ewwwwwww. Prostitution. We hope this has been helpful. posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 11/01/2004 01:48:00 PM # Comments (0) . . .
