Oooh... Mother Nature makes me all wet... There's an old saying, passed down by my father, and his father before him, and his father after him who invented the time machine. (Father in a general sense, considering the bond of interhuman brotherhood) "A little rain never hurt nobody." This is clearly untrue. Before there were people, rain clearly never hurt anybody. An umbrella is a device used to ward off the rain. The spanish have a great word for it, the paraguas. Now, last Wednesday, we had rain. An umbrella may have been called for. But the following are inappropriate uses for an umbrella: A) Using an umbrella designed to shelter a school bus as a personal umbrella B) Using an umbrella when it's not raining (Yes, people do that here) C) Using an umbrella when it's drizzling (Hey, dumbass, the water's so light it doesn't even fall downward, your umbrella doesn't do anything) So don't expect me not to laugh at you pathetic ozwitches when your umbrella gets screwed up by the wind. It serves you right. Don't disrespect Mama Nature. Who else is going to give showers to the homeless? posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 3/01/2004 12:39:00 PM # Comments (0) . . .
