Monday, September 08, 2003
How dumb can you be?
Mehammed Mack looks to be this year's Mad Max. Luckily, he actually appears to be literate, which is a big plus.
While preparing this column, the ethics involved in propping up an enemy's dirty laundry kept fleeting through my mind like aggravated morality cherubs. Socrates insists that one must never harm the Other even if one has been harmed and has every entitlement to revenge. The ending thought: under-the belt slander is immoral no matter what precedes it.
So.... he carefully considered and realized that this kind of "harm the Other" is inappropriate. He then proceeds to write his column to "harm the Other." I hope they just edited out the part where he said "By the way, I didn't listen to these ethics!"
•Among Arnold's virtuosly depraved sayings and feats:"When you see a blonde with great tits and a great ass, you say to yourself, 'Hey, she must be stupid or must have nothing else to offer'" (Esquire, July 2003). Over to you, legion of blonde republicanettes.
Okay, so he said what most of us think. Boo! ?
•He told Playboy in 1988 that he forbids his mother and wife to wear pants when they're seen with him because pants are unfeminine. So if Arnold wins, will we have to update the indecent exposure laws, or just keep our women at home?
More importantly, why didn't his mother lay the smack down on his ass? I think we can see where his behavior has been enabled.
•In one 24-hour period, he fondled three TV hostesses while on a promotional tour in Britain (Premiere, March 2001). Their outcries were silenced by a professional clean-up crew.
... I guess I have to give this one to you. Except for the whole "using Premiere as an elections guide source" thing.
•On the set of "Eraser," an assistant went to Arnold's trailer to summon him for a shoot only to find him performing oral sex, this while already married to Maria Shriver. In the words of the witness: "He looked up and, with that accent, said very slowly, 'Eating is not cheating.'" (Premiere). No comment.
We need a governor who can think on his feet.
•During the filming of "Terminator 2," Arnold was assigned a male dresser he didn't find attractive. On-set, he would order the man, "Sit, you ugly dog," and have him kneel in submission. (Premiere) Imagine, Clinton and Condit, what he'd do to his interns …
How much do you think that dresser got paid? Arnie was just raising the wage of that job. He obviously stands for workers' rights.
•Of Kurt Waldheim, former UN secretary general, implicated in Nazi crimes against humanity: "My friends don't want me to mention Kurt's name, because of all the recent Nazi stuff and the UN controversy, but I love him and Maria does too." ("Arnold: The Unauthorized Biography," W. Leigh).
Byrd. Seriously, are we now no longer allowed to love people with unpopular opinions? What ever happened to love your fellow man? Really, it's still a human being, with feelings, humor, friendliness... why should he have denounced him? Why should he have been required to denounce him?
He is also reported to have made a comment praising Hitler during the filming of "Pumping Iron." ("Schwarzenegger's Nazi problem," SLATE.com).
The quote in question: "Why on Earth didn't Schwarzenegger take this opportunity to speak out against Waldheim? It surely isn't because Schwarzenegger himself had any Nazi sympathies (though during the filming of the documentary Pumping Iron, he reportedly once made a foolish comment praising Hitler)."
Whoa... was that what Mack meant? Hardly seems to be an endorsement of Naziism. The Slate article goes on: "Rather than confront his Waldheim problem head-on, Schwarzenegger has proclaimed his disgust for Nazism, raised money for education about the Holocaust, traveled to Israel (where he met with then-Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin), and given generously to the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles, which in 1997 bestowed on him its National Leadership Award." So instead of getting personal, he went after the issue. Oh, woe is us. I think Mack was hoping that no one would actually go look up this Slate article and just wanted them thinking he was pro-Nazi. Most people probably won't check, though, so he may have been right, but I stand by my assessment of Mack as a fucking asshole.
•"Bodybuilders party a lot, and once, in Gold's … there was a black girl who came out naked. Everybody jumped on her and took her upstairs, where we all got together." (Oui, 1977). How could someone who enjoys opulent gang-bangs ever be fiscally responsible?
? What? Wha? Huh? Where's the logic here? Rich guy does rich things because he has more money than he could possibly use. So would I. At the very worst you could say that he doesn't have experience with being fiscally responsible. He also enjoys gangbangs, which strikes me as a very human characteristic (you won't see Gray Davis in any gang-bangs, that's for damn sure). I like humans.
My father, like most Austrians, grew up with relentless confidence. Arriving in the cutthroat United States, his self-importance was tested by the astounding dearth of references to Austria's splendor. Happiness for this expatriate only surfaced in the occasional Tyrolean ski disaster or Nazi scandal, because it meant recognition in the news. Sometimes, he'd search the currency section for the Austrian schilling, to remind himself of its sweet existence.
Oh, boo hoo. We of this country don't care about tiny details going on in another country. How horrible. How could his father possibly cope. Maybe being knocked down a few pegs was good for him.
Who knows what debauchery will transpire when this ultra-violent sex fiend cleans house in Sacramento …
Ultra-violent? What the hell? Where does ultra-violent come from, all of a sudden? That'd be like me saying "Mack is a racist, ultra-violent, baby-eating, puppy kicking rapist. Really. Look at all my evidence."
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