Friday, August 22, 2003
Gasp!
No! Say it ain't so! Blah blah blah rhyme with o! There's no deep, meaningful commentary by a thoughtful, enlightened columnist in today's Daily Cal! This calls for one thing: The Beetle Drake to the rescue! (By the way, what is a Beetle Drake? Well, if a beetle and a duck have sex... they don't spawn a beetle drake. Seriously. You were an idiot for even thinking it was possible.)
Underwhere?
Beetle Aurora Drake
What a vacation. I took a vacation to this place called "Placeville." I thought it was a dumb name, too, but going around town yelling about how much of a dumb name the town had wasn't exactly a bright thing to do.
You see, Placeville is filled with a bunch of oversensitive floogenflurgers of questionable sanity who all carry firearms of various sorts. And while it's accepted for us Berkeleyans to make fun of our own town freely, the same doesn't hold true for outsiders mocking Placeville.
Etc. Etc. Etc. some deep revelation about gun control and true friendship ensued.
But is that revelation really a revelation? Or is it just the same as it was beforehand? All we learned, after all, is that things are or aren't a particular way, concerning gun control and true friendship.
Also, Bush sucks. So do Republicans in general. They're all stupid.
Wait, is this even still related to Placeville? And what the hell does this have to do with underwhere?
Want to shoot at Beetle? E-mail him at opinion@dailycal.org. But really don't. He doesn't work there.
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