Math Department Confronts Students
Accusing math students of hiding "Weapons of Math Destruction," hordes of math TAs spilled out from the basement of Evans Hall for an assault on the units, where many of the students taking math courses hide, behind human shields of film and liberal arts majors. "The students will not sign us in at the security booth," said one math instructor in broken English and incomplete sentences he assumed the listener understood. "This proves that they are hiding Weapons of Math Destruction, and we have no choice but to defend ourselves. And the security monitors are in league with them!" A mysterious, long-haired, bearded man who frequently appeared to pause for deep thought in mid-word known only as "Monty" was having none of it, though. "You can have the key to the elevator when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!" he declared. "Either you swipe your card or you get signed in. NO EXCEPTIONS! Also, you don't have roof access," he added, pre-empting the next idea by math forces. While forces have, in the past, been able to infiltrate the units due to the actions of a spy with the codename "Millenium Falcone," math forces were unable to take advantage this year. Unit regional commander "Shigi" was confident of victory. "Those math people don't have a chance of winning. Why, they're not even calling themselves an 'alliance.'"
posted by Beetle Aurora Drake 4/21/2003 11:57:00 AM #
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