Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Voter's Guide Review
This thing. I don't know what ASCU://sectionname is for. I guess you need the full path to read the Voter's Guide.
President: Holy Crap! Travis Garcia's head is fucking sideways! He must have neck problems.
Executive Vice President: David Wasserman goes with a non-traditional aspect ratio, which means he supports real change.
Senate: Apparently, one of the duties of the Senate is to "represent the rich campus community." If the campus community isn't rich in a particular week, the Senate gets that week off.
Best of:
Karl Siganporia: "Karl Siganporia for ASUC Senate: At least I won’t make things worse!"
Karan Aneja (#59): "Vote independent, vote different, vote prime."
Student Action, #s 84-88: They tried to do a numbered list through various candidates, but I think Ian Clow missed the memo, and they just gave up around 12.
Ross Ligenfelder, Berkeley Squirrel Party: "I'll protect your nuts too!" Folks are directed to the party statement, which doesn't exist.
Kenan "Big" Wang: "I've got BIG... Qualifications. I'm an Inter-Fraternity Council executive. I have 3 years of ASUC experience, 20 years of experience NOT being a dumbass."
Simon Ganz: "If elected, I promise to graduate and move to Los Angeles. There I plan to mount and frame several posters I've found and buy a new pair of shoes because I spilled salad dressing on mine and now I don't like them. Frankly, if I manage to fulfill half of the promises I just outlined, I'll accomplish more for this university than the ASUC will in the next 60 years."
Harmony Larson: "I strongly believe that strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government."
Joe Rothberg: "I continue support vegetarians who eat animal crackers."
David Torello: "But I know shenanigans when I see them, and the ASUC budget is as terrifying as a bukkake party at an AIDS clinic."
Daniel "Danny" Montes and Daniel "Dan" Galeon: I just like typing 'Dan' and its linguistic relatives.
Everything written by me for every office: Because I'm too lazy to do my campaigning here on the blog.
. . .
|
. . .
|